Ever notice how truly alpha guys have such tanned skin?
The greatest men of our time – the builders, the achievers, the winners, the inventors, the geniuses who have given us our 21st century civilization – all have one thing in common:
Hot Dog Skin
You might think I’m kidding.
What is hot dog skin?
Hot dog skin is when you achieve a minimal erythemal dose (MED) of sunshine, when you’re right on the edge of burning, but not actually sunburned. You’re a little pink. A little toasty. But you’re not burned. You’ve successfully maxed out the amount of sunshine you can get without damaging yourself.
Hot dog skin is simply the best
When you’ve armored yourself with hot dog skin you feel incredible. You feel ten feet tall and bulletproof.
You’re vitamin D is through the roof, the UV is producing nitric oxide in you, and this nitric oxide has you PUMPED.
The best workouts I’ve ever done in my life have always been with hardcore hot dog skin, achieved after hours of sunbathing. You’re a super human with hot dog skin. You can lift heavier, for longer. With hot dog skin you don’t get tired. You can work out all day long.
Hot dog skin makes you recover faster. You can work out all day and then do it again the next day. Vitamin D and nitric oxide make you stronger.
Hot dog skin reduces your need for food. When you’ve got hardcore hot dog skin you simply don’t need that much food.
Ever get a little too much sun and then you’re horny out of your mind after?
That’s hot dog skin.
The craziest sex I’ve ever had has always been while armored with hot dog skin. If your lady also has hot dog skin you better make sure the building you’re in has good insurance. Vitamin D boosts testosterone, nitric oxide from UV exposure produces epic boners. Sunbathe your testicles and it’ll triple your testosterone. There’s a study on that. See the bibliography.
Hot dog skin has always been there for me.
When I’m down, hot dog skin lifts me up.
When I’m weak, hot dog skin strengthens me.
When I’m stressed, hot dog skin calms me.
When I’m tired, hot dog skin energizes me.
When I’m stupid, hot dog skin smartens me.
“How do I get hot dog skin?”
You have to commit. You have to earn it. All of it. Nobody will give it to you.
“How will I know when I have hot dog skin?”
Always bring a hot dog to the beach with you. Always. Or whatever sunbathing spot you use.
Always bring a hot dog.
Hold the hot dog to your skin periodically and compare.
Can you tell the difference?
If yes, the transformation is not complete. Keep sunning.
If no, congratulations, you got hot dog skin. The transformation is complete. Start beasting.
Just don’t burn
No, no, no, no, no. Don’t burn. Nobody likes a burnt hot dog. And definitely don’t burn your own hot dog.
You don’t have to achieve hot dog skin today. It’s a lifelong pursuit. Take your time. A little sun today. A little sun tomorrow.
Over time your hot dog skin will become more and more permanent.
When the transformation is complete
Preserve your mighty hot dog skin. Your hot dog skin is a protective guardian angel, but also delicate and gentle at the same time. Your hot dog skin will protect you, but you must also care for your hot dog skin.
Always grease yourself up with high quality, pure aloe vera after sunbathing to moisturize. Take collagen peptides to keep your skin supple like a baby. Preserve your hot dog skin and let the world know who they’re dealing with.
Don’t shower or get in the ocean right away
One of the ingredients in that cutaneous vitamin D synthesis is HEAT. The hotter your skin is, the better. Ever feel permanently hot after sunbathing, like your skin is glowing? That’s the vitamin D cooking. Literally. Taking a shower or hopping in the ocean will cool your skin off and blunt the cooking process. Postpone getting wet for as long as you reasonably can.
Sunbathing Is Better Than Taking a Shower Anyway
That saying “sunshine is the best disinfectant” is scientifically sound. It is. UVB is bactericidal.
You know what happens when you take test tubes of bacteria and put them in UVB? The bacteria die. If you sunbathe you don’t need a shower. Put on some fresh deodorant. You’re fine. You’re covered in UVB-irradiated sebum and the same sunbathing sesh that did that was also holocausting bad bacteria on your skin.
If you sunbathe, you’re cleaner after than you were before. So don’t rush into the shower. Let the vitamin D cook a loooong time and bask in it’s glorious effects.
Check out the NudeSpots directory and find a place nearby where you can max out your sunbathing.
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Until next time,
Your hot-dog-skinned brother,
Vitamin D improves leptin and insulin sensitivity, which helps control your appetite.
Bathing and showering – this study analyzed the vitamin D levels of Hawaii surfers and found that, despite being out in the sun for hours per day every day, the surfers actually had low vitamin D levels. The hypothesis of The Vitamin D Council is that it’s because, while they’re out in the sun all day, they are also WET the whole time and this is interfering with vitamin D synthesis. The Vitamin D Council believes the vitamin D they’re producing is being washed from the outer layers of their skin before it can be absorbed. So it looks like overwashing ourselves could be contributing to vitamin D deficiency. You want to stay dry for a while after sunbathing.
Header photo taken from https://torange.biz