Easy! Easy! Take it easy, ladies!
I’m sure your vagina is pristine.
Meant no offense. I come in peace. Yes, I know dicks can also be foul sometimes. I have one.
There’s a difference between dicks and vaginas though and that difference is dicks are external and keeping them clean is as easy as washing your hands. Vaginas are internal, so keeping them clean and healthy is a little more complicated.
Another difference, of course, is our society values vaginas more, so thus there are actually studies in existence investigating how to keep vaginas clean and healthy. We all want the best for vaginas.
Out of love for vaginas – the magical portals which have brought all of us into being and completely change most men’s lives around age 12 – I bring you this article
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How Sunshine Keeps Vaginas Clean and Healthy
How do I know sunshine keeps vaginas clean? Because sunshine keeps everything clean and healthy. UVB rays specifically.
UVB spectrum sunlight is bactericidal, an effective disinfectant, anti-microbial, and wound-healing. Here’s a dense scientific article about that from some wound care scientists.
Whenever you’re naked in the midday sunshine the sun is literally cleaning and healing you. Gives a whole new relevance to the term “sunbathe.” You really are taking a bath – a super bath. That UVB is eradicating bad bacteria on your body, disinfecting pores, and healing any wounds you have.
It is common knowledge that sunshine is a very effective medical treatment for many skin conditions such as acne, psoriasis, vitiligo, and eczema. (I swear, it’s almost like we’re supposed to be getting sun exposure or something….)
Before antibiotics, one of the go-to methods for healing soldiers’ wounds was to dump them out in the sun. That’s right. Medical doctors overwhelmed with hundreds of injured soldiers would have to resort to just leaving wounded soldiers laying in the sunshine and letting nature decide who lives. Crazy thing though is… they found it actually works.
You don’t want your vagina missing out on the benefits of sun exposure.
Why the focus on vaginas?
Well as I said we actually have vagina studies. Show me the dick studies and I’ll do a dick article.
Here we go:
Vitamin D Prevents and Treats Bacterial Vaginosis
This study here measured the vitamin D levels of 469 first-trimester pregnant women and found that those who were vitamin D deficient had more than double the rate of bacterial vaginosis.
Here’s a randomized, placebo-controlled clinical trial (the scientific gold-standard of studies) that observed 208 bacterial vaginosis patients who were all also vitamin D-deficient. Half took a small 2,000 IU vitamin D3 dose daily for 15 weeks and the other half of the group were given a placebo during this time. The vitamin D group experienced more than triple the cure rate (63%) compared to the placebo group (19%). Keep in mind that 2,000 IU is a very small dose for an adult, so what would the results have been with a higher dose? Our bodies are capable of producing well over 20,000 IU from one sunbathing session.
Vitamin D Treats Cervical Infections
This study tested the effectiveness of vitamin D vaginal suppositories on women with chronic cervical infections. The results were very positive with 79% of participants reporting “less vaginal problems,” “less discharge,” and “less problems with sexual intercourse.” After 6 weeks of the therapy only 7% of patients still required infection treatment.
Vitamin D Prevents Postmenopausal Vaginal Atrophy
Once women hit menopause the hormonal changes they’re experiencing actually lead to many functions of the vagina gradually failing (caused by declining estrogen levels). The skin cell count of the vagina actually decreases, natural lubrication declines, pH levels increase, and vaginal pain tends to increase.
Multiple randomized clinical trials have found that vitamin D effectively treats these symptoms. (It’s almost like we’re supposed to get sun exposure or something…)
In this one, 44 postmenopausal women were randomly assigned to receive either vitamin D vaginal suppositories or placebo vaginal suppositories daily for 8 weeks to test the effects of vitmamin D on old-age vaginal atrophy. At the end of the study, those who received the vitamin D suppositories had a much higher count of superficial cells in their vaginal epithelium, lower pH levels, lower reporting of vaginal pain, lower reports of vaginal dryness, and lower reports of vaginal paleness.
Here, 200 old ladies were randomly split into two groups. One got vitamin D and one got placebos. Their vaginas were evaluated before treatment, at three months, and at six months to test the effects of vitamin D on vaginal health. Researchers found that the vitamin D group displayed “significantly” better vaginal health at both follow ups and vaginal health improved as vitamin D levels improved.
A meta-analysis of 6 different studies (391 participants total) testing the effectiveness of vitamin D for vaginal health in menopausal women found that, out of the doses tested, the higher doses were effective for improving vaginal epithelial cells, decreasing vaginal pH, and improving vaginal moisture.
It’s also worth mentioning that people’s vitamin D levels tend to decrease as they age, due to both the transition into a more indoor (sunless) lifestyle and because we slowly lose our ability to make vitamin D as we age. Maybe vaginal atrophy is also an actual vitamin D-deficiency symptom.
Where do we get vitamin D?
Nope, not from your diet. It’s impossible to achieve sufficient vitamin D levels from dietary sources. Even if you were obsessively, aggressively determined to achieve good vitamin D levels from your diet alone and ate giant amounts of the highest quality food sources of vitamin D, you would fail. Vitamin D from foods is certainly welcomed by your body, but we’re evolved to get the vast majority of our vitamin D from sun exposure.
Sun. Ex. Po. Sure
Not supplements. Supplements are great and have their place, but for 99.999999999% of our history vitamin D supplements did not exist. Nothing is as effective for vitamin D health as using your own body’s miraculous vitamin D endocrine system.
Get out in the midday sun, get as naked as possible, and let a million years of fine-tuned evolution do it’s thang. The UVB rays will transform the 7-dehydrocholesterol in your skin into pre-vitamin D, the pre-vitamin D will be absorbed into your bloodstream and then become hormonally activated in your liver, kidneys, and vitamin D receptors all throughout your body in every cell, tissue, and organ – including your vagina.
Vitamin D from sun exposure lasts longer in your body and only your body actually knows what your optimal dose is and will produce this accordingly. Even with a doctor’s supervision and years of thorough blood testing, figuring out the best vitamin D supplement dose is a long-term guessing game. Sunlight also provides many great health benefits besides vitamin D that a supplement will not provide.
Sunshine is an essential, integral factor in our health right up there with water, food, and sleep. You know what happens to the vast majority of life on earth if it doesn’t get sun exposure? It dies. And so do we. And so do vaginas.
Sunshine keeps vaginas clean and healthy with it’s external bactericidal effects and internally through the effects of the healing anabolic seco-steroid sunshine hormone vitamin D. Sad part is though… what body parts are we the least likely to expose to the sun?
Do you want your vagina to be as healthy as possible?
Then find your nearest nude spot and go get a bunch of D in your V!
If you’re experiencing recurrent vaginal problems, it would be a good idea, based on the studies above, to get your vitamin D levels tested. It’s easier than ever and doesn’t even require the hassle and cost of a doctor visit. You can literally order the test yourself online off Amazon these days.
Whether you have a vagina, know someone with a vagina, or know someone who knows someone with a vagina – spread this article around and let’s help make vaginas great again!
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Until next time,
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