People having sex at the nude beach…
It happens.
A lot of nudists are always going on about how “nudism isn’t sexual! It has nothing to do with sex at all!”
It doesn’t.
Until it does. Then it definitely does.
“No, no, no! Nudism is simply about living naturally without clothes.”
You know what else is natural? Getting horny.
Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. You and your girl are putting sunscreen on each other… One thing leads to another.
But what do YOU do when you’re enjoying the day and notice there are some people having sex at the nude beach?
Here’s what you do:

 

1 – Thank God

People having public sex at the nude beach in broad daylight is some crazy shit you don’t see every day. How many times have you seen this? Exactly. It’s rare. Once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing. You might not see this ever again, so be thankful you got to see some crazy shit. You’ve just been blessed with an entertaining story and memory. 
The world is better off when people are peacefully getting some action. Let me tell you, people having sex at the nude beach aren’t out rioting and looting. They might be committing a victimless crime, but they’re not committing victim crimes. They won’t be road raging in traffic on the way home. They’ll probably let you cut in front of them at the grocery store later.

 

Step 2 – Be Quiet, Don’t Make Sudden Moves

Whoever is having sex at the nude beach like this probably thinks they’re under the radar. They probably don’t think anybody is watching or noticing them. Or they’re on drugs and think they’re wearing Harry Potter invisibility cloaks. It happens.
Now you want them to keep enjoying the belief that nobody notices – or else they might stop.
So don’t make any sudden movements or loud noises that might tip them off to your presence.
Just like when you encounter a family of deer in the woods – become a silent statue for a moment.

 

Step 3 – Make sure you’re wearing sunglasses 😎

Sunglasses are magical at the nude beach. When you’re wearing them nobody knows which way your eyeballs are pointing. You’re head can be tilted a little to the left, but your eyes are going hard to the right.
Sunglasses make it possible for everybody to oogle everybody, but nobody feels weird.
When you see people having sex at the nude beach, put some magical sunglasses on, turn your eyes slightly toward them, then turn your head slightly the other way.
You can watch them all day like this and nobody will ever know.
Real sneaky like.

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Step 4 – Introduce yourself and lend a helping hand

Don’t be a stranger. Go introduce yourself. You never know – you might be just what they’re looking for. Pay it forward and offer a helping hand. Hell, offer two helping hands.

The one exception – if you see a guy jerkin’ it solo

You have to threaten violence against these guys. No exception. There’s no other way to handle those types. 
Ladies, let your man handle this. If he won’t handle it then your man is not actually a man.
If you see a guy jerkin’ it solo you need to make a big, loud deal about it and embarrass the hell out of him. Always, always, always accuse him of looking at you while he did it. “This fucking guy was jerking off at me!”
He’ll probably say something like “No, no, no. I was just putting sunscreen on.”
DOUBLE DOWN
You say “Stop lying you fucking weirdo! We saw you jerking off looking at us! Get the fuck out of here!”
Then you pull out your camera and start live-streaming the confrontation.
If you call a guy out for jerkin’ it and he immediately runs away – he was 100% guilty.
That’s all for today folks. Thanks for reading.
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Until next time,
 
Austin

 

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    sassycoupleok

    Many nudist will probably disagree with your assessment of this situation. However we tend to agree it is pretty much spot on.